I was bullied whilst in a senior level role at an indie in a very subtle but extremely destructive way. Work I undertook and decisions I made were constantly questioned which was very undermining. Senior managers would suddenly take on parts of my role with no warning or change their mind about how things should be done without consulting me so I always appeared one step behind.
I was working part time and this was used an excuse for making decisions in my absence. I felt completely unable to do my job, as all my decisions were being questioned. Having to justify everything I was doing was mentally exhausting and very demeaning.
Despite my years of experience, it made me question my ability to do my job and my place in the industry. Ultimately when I did stick my head above the parapet and explain I wasn't comfortable with this way of working it led to my working days being reduced and finally the contract ending prematurely - ostensibly by mutual consent but in reality it felt like I'd been fired.
Bullying is often thought of as screaming and shouting and I have certainly experienced my fair share of that. However, I found the questioning and undermining much more damaging to my confidence as it's much subtler. It was some time before I recognised it as a form of bullying instead of questioning my own ability and decision making. It caused me to have many sleepless nights and still makes me wary of taking on a senior role again.
Commenti